MWD: Sadness

My Month of Written Devotion is for the Spirit of the Santa Clara Valley

Sadness

I’m going in little circles.

Without water, the land is sick. I’ve thought about going to my creek, above the reservoir, and bleeding for Her. I’m not unwilling, but I’m not sure it’s a useful gesture either. Gods know She has enough of my tears…

If I’m truly bound to this land, don’t I have obligations to Her? What ARE they? Can I live up to them?

What if I can’t?

What if I do and it’s just not enough?

It’s not. It’s not going to be enough. There’s just too much else, too many who don’t see or don’t care, too much working against Her.

And really, what makes me so special, even? Do I really see any better, or am I just deluding myself that love is somehow a useful trait towards a landmass, spirited though She may be?

I can always reach some sadness. She has reservoirs that feed Her children. I have an endless well of tears. One of us is eternal, nurturing, innately valuable. The other of us is just me, mortal, limited, and tired.

But if I am not delusional, then I DO have some obligation, and even if I can’t see why She would want me, that’s not the point, is it?

The point is, you keep your promises, or you pay the weregild, and either way, even if it proves no use, I must do what I can for Her.

Whether that’s cry, or bleed, or speak, or just wait and pray and hope remains to be seen, but whatever it is, it won’t be nothing.

–Ember–

P.S. Read Lon’s “Sadness”.

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About EmberVoices

Ember Cooke has been a member of Hrafnar and Seidhjallr for more than a decade, where she trained to be a Seidhkona, Galdrakona, and Gythia. She founded the Vanic Conspiracy and made ordination vows to the Vanir and her congregation in the summer of 2013. She has contributed to several publications on Heathen and Northern Pagan subjects and regularly presents rituals and workshops at festivals. Her personal practice is more diverse, as the Vanir have lead her into cross-training and service for the wider Pagan community. This has including medium and servitor training in American Umbanda, clergy training with the Fellowship of the Spiral Path, and jail ministry for local counties. She holds a BA with honors in Religious Studies from Santa Clara University. Ember has lived all her life in the south San Francisco Bay Area, and is intimately bound to the valley of her birth.
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3 Responses to MWD: Sadness

  1. Pingback: Melek Ta’us: Sadness | Drinking From the Cup of Life

  2. I’m walking this with you, though I don’t live where you are.

    Like

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