There Is No Away

I’m ranting lately. It’s been a hard week in a hard month in a hard year, and I just want it all to go away.

All the things I just can’t deal with, all the people who hurt me or those I love, all the problems that can’t be solved easily, all the systems that don’t work. I want them to go away.

The world is a big place. Too big. I can’t keep it all in my head. I can’t always cope with the chaos.

The Universe is even bigger, and only as orderly as it needs to be to hold together.

That’s not enough. I want it to be fair.

It’s times like this I understand why people want to believe in Ragnarok, in Armageddon, in any and every Apocalypse, now please. Because it seems like if we can wipe the slate clean of all this…

this…

CRAP

…then maybe we can get somewhere with the better worlds we can imagine?

But that means throwing all THIS away, first. And I can’t swallow the delusion that only the things I like will survive.

I can’t even swallow the delusion that I would survive.

If I want to live, this is the only world available for me to live in. I have to be willing to live in it, flaws and all.

Horrors and all.

The Worlds are not disposable. What does it even mean to be disposable? What does it mean to make things and people go away? Where is away?

Even if I decide I can’t deal with it, and run away, I’m still somewhere, still have problems and needs and responsibilities.

Every problem I can’t deal with is still a problem until it’s actually solved.

Every item I’m done with is still somewhere in the world, contributing to a compost pile or a trash heap.

Every person I can’t stand will still exist, still have needs and rights and still affect the world whether I continue to acknowledge them or not.

Every system I want to opt out of is still there for everyone else stuck in it, and if I did manage to somehow remove it, all the things it was there to take care of still need taking care of.

All the people nobody likes, all the criminals and the crazies and the broken people nobody wants to take care of anymore, they still have to eat, they still need shelter, they still have a right to exist.

If I make them not my problem, then whose problem are they?

No.

There is no away.

Away is an illusion, a lie we tell ourselves, to make the world small enough that we can live in it without fear.

The Worlds are but jewels on the Tree, and the Tree is engulfed by the Void.

And even the Void is not Away.

–Ember–

 

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About EmberVoices

Ember Cooke has been a member of Hrafnar and Seidhjallr for more than a decade, where she trained to be a Seidhkona, Galdrakona, and Gythia. She founded the Vanic Conspiracy and made ordination vows to the Vanir and her congregation in the summer of 2013. She has contributed to several publications on Heathen and Northern Pagan subjects and regularly presents rituals and workshops at festivals. Her personal practice is more diverse, as the Vanir have lead her into cross-training and service for the wider Pagan community. This has including medium and servitor training in American Umbanda, clergy training with the Fellowship of the Spiral Path, and jail ministry for local counties. She holds a BA with honors in Religious Studies from Santa Clara University. Ember has lived all her life in the south San Francisco Bay Area, and is intimately bound to the valley of her birth.
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14 Responses to There Is No Away

  1. *Hugs* I’ve got a friend who has been feeling the same way a lot recently, although he’s reaching the stage where he’s quite happy with everything being wiped clean even if it includes the good stuff.
    I hope that things get less overwhelming for you soon, and that you can find a temporary away so you can recharge a bit.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EmberVoices says:

      Heh, well, I suppose in some ways it didn’t, since in the month since I wrote that, I’ve come down quite sick from stress.

      But a lot of the overwhelm in this post was itself part of what I was also ranting about here: https://embervoices.wordpress.com/2016/08/30/isolation-wont-help/

      I’m getting very tired of all of the people whose solution to every problem is “get rid of it!” or worse, “get rid of them!”

      Not because I don’t believe there are toxic people in the world – there clearly are, and they shouldn’t be given power – but because merely disowning them doesn’t actually strip them of influence in the world, it just falsely absolves us of responsibility for dealing with that influence.

      -E-

      Like

      • *Many hugs* I’m so sorry to hear that, and I really hope you get better soon.

        And I missed that post somehow, sorry. While temporary isolation can be a good thing, permanent isolation isn’t – by all means advise someone to take a break from a situation or person that’s harming them in whatever way, but only so they can take a breath, clear their head, and gather strength to try and tackle the problem.
        I tend to want to hide when things get bad, but thankfully I have amazing friends who refuse to let me isolate myself, even when I had depression or an abusive now-ex-boyfriend.

        But I guess disowning the toxic people or institutions is easier than turning round and standing against them, especially if there seems to be no way to do so. And humans are a lot like electricity – we almost always take the path of least resistance. Certain sections of society could do with more Ohms.

        Liked by 1 person

    • EmberVoices says:

      I do hope your friend – and you – friend a way out of the caves as well! -E-

      Like

  2. We Bring The Fire says:

    I’ve been having the same feelings

    Liked by 1 person

  3. fallenangelstarline says:

    Complete agreeing~ Freya channeled messages recently to me and my husbands that were spot on fierce and sharp. Relating clear fierce to this. Especially the recent pair of messages that burned with truth. I’d share them if I could but I would not want to enlongate your page. Her channelings to us to our family is without format.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EmberVoices says:

      You could post them to your own blog and give me the URL, though 🙂

      -E-

      Like

      • fallenangelstarline says:

        I’ve pondered this truly~ although my husband is a bit weary about having a blog. We tried once, with grievence a tinge cringingly and we were gaslighted to very near harmful proportions (I was psychically attacked near severely 5 months and I almost got run over by the persons who stalked the blog….It was terrifying..

        Like

        • EmberVoices says:

          Ah. This is part of why channeling blogs are often anonymous, and without room for comments (or just no replies to comments). -E-

          Like

          • fallenangelstarline says:

            Indeed. I am grateful when there can be open discussion though when there can be that is. Hm…Loki and Freya often wonder how to pass on their knowledge without it be a hack, a danger, nor time consuming….

            Like

          • EmberVoices says:

            Well, I don’t know about Loki, but there is a collaborative blog for channeled messages from Freyja. It’s not getting much use, but if you don’t mind the editors fixing the formatting, you might be able to have your messages from Her posted there…

            -E-

            Like

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